King Kong Sucked

Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush on this one: Kong sucked ass. It sucked way too long, and way too hard. I went in with low expectations because it was King Kong, a story I'd never really cared for. I figured with low expectations, the movie would easily surpass them. Wrong. No, it sucked.
Let me start from the beginning. Yesterday, my roommate asked if I was interested in seeing the midnight showing of Kong. Sure, why not. I had a free ticket due to a recent DVD purchase, so it wasn't really going to cost me anything. And I'm a midnight movie kind of guy, so I was alright with it.
So, we get there, get seats in a theater that ended up being only about half-full, and I proceeded to get popcorn and a drink. Now, I'm going to rant about the food a bit later, but let's continue with the story.
Previews come on and they're pretty so-so. X-Men 3 looked cool, yet another "Coach comes in and unites a team of players to get into the big game" movie is on the horizon with Josh Lucas starring this time around, and The Da Vinci Code's new trailer was shown (which, incidentally, caused me to do nothing more than groan).
Then the movie started. Naomi Watts is a vaudeville performer and she's kind of cute with it. Then Jack Black comes in. People in the audience found every fucking thing he did hilarious. I can't fucking stand the fucker. I've never liked him. Not in High Fidelity, not in School of Rock, I hate Tenacious D, I just hate the man. This movie did nothing to redeem him in my eyes. In fact, every frame of the movie with him in it gave me ADD; I started looking at everything but the screen while he was on it.
Kong showed up about an hour into the movie. Worthless. Later, at about 1:45, I was ready to claw my eyes out. At least the original had the decency to stop at the hour and a half mark.
The movie was three fucking hours long. It felt like six, but I was assured that it was only three.
Some people like to think that Peter Jackson is a directing god. The dwainker has always stated otherwise, and I've always known that he wasn't a god, but he was pretty damn good. I felt he deserved the Oscar for Return of the King because of the effort that went into not just that film, but the whole LotR trilogy. It was a whole long process that showed dedication, thought, and, well, balls. He made some mistakes, sure, but who hasn't? I mean, even Spielberg's record isn't perfect (from 1941 to War of the Worlds, he's slipped every now and then). So, Jackson could at least take on the story of Kong and make it look good, right?
No. There was so much soft focus in the damn movie that I'll be seeing blurs for the rest of the month. Naomi Watts looked cute and kinda sexy, but meh. The effects in the movie didn't really blend with the real stuff all that well, either.
There was also this sequence that was cut out of the original version, the spider pit. Several of the heroes fall down into this pit and are devoured by several different kinds of giant insects and spiders. It was completely, absolutely pointless. It only existed to gross out the audience, which it did. It didn't do anything for the plot except kill of characters who didn't need to die. Fucking worthless.
So, yeah, Kong sucked to me. Everyone will have a different take on the damn movie, that was mine. It sucked. It was worthless.
Now, here's my take on why movie theaters are going to go out of business sometime soon:
1. Prices are ridiculous. The tickets normally cost $8.50. Now, for twice that amount, you can buy the DVD when it comes out and watch it however many times you want. If you're on a date, you're going to pay that same amount anyway for two tickets, so you're not really losing anything.
2. Prices are ridiculous, part two. So, I bought popcorn and a drink. I looked at the prices and then saw they had a medium popcorn and medium drink combo. No price was listed for the combo, but I decided to go ahead and get it. It was $9.50, which, coincidentally, is the exact same price as ordering the same size popcorn and drink separately, so the combo had no value. About 50 minutes into the movie, I was out of popcorn and almost out of drink, so I decided to get a refill. The girl behind the counter said that they normally don't do refills on those sizes. Look, if I pay $9.50 for popcorn and a drink, how can they justify not refilling that at least once. Seriously, it's like 50 cents worth of stuff. The fuck? The girl went ahead and refilled it anyway since it was late and she really didn't care, but still, what the fuck? It wasn't posted anywhere, and the standard over the past several years has been free refills. They honestly can't justify that insane price anymore. Viva le revolution!
3. Prices are ridiculous, part three. This actually deals with movie making prices, which in turn affects ticket prices. Movies are made with insanely high budgets anymore, making it harder and harder for them to earn the money back. So, I watched The Island today, which also totally sucked ass. Here's the situation: The Island was made for roughly $122 million. Movie theaters have to pay a certain fee to show those movies. In order to recoup some of the money immediately, the studio charges some extra fee money. The cinema theater then raises its ticket prices regularly to cover those extra fees. So, some poor sap paid, what, $8 to see The Island and then ended up seeing a crappy movie. Then, because The Island only ended up making about $36 million dollars, the studio had to increase what it charged the theaters for their next movies to cover some of the losses it suffered from the crappy business of The Island. The theater then turns around and increases what it charges. Thus, the insane amount of money to make shitty movies affects everyone.
4. Stop with the damn special effects already. Look, stop making it so that you're constantly "pushing the envelope" with visual effects. They look nice, but I'm so damn tired of them. After Episode III, I really stopped giving a damn about visual effects. Make a damn film without using a damn computer sometime. Damn. I seriously hope that everyone out there comes around to the idea that a story and actual acting is more important than digital images, but I kind of doubt it. This is a problem affecting the entire film world, but probably isn't going to cause any theaters soon.
5. The home sound system has taken over, we don't have to do to a theater anymore to get "awesome" sound.
6. Other people in the theater are obnoxious, loud, and annoying. Here, at my place, I don't have to listen to people laugh at Jack Black's every move.
7. There are no new technologies on the horizon that will improve the theater experience. Theatre evolved when cinemas came about. Unfortunately, cinemas aren't evolving to react to DVDs and home theater systems.
So, yeah, those're my thoughts on the death of the cinema. Maybe it'll happen, maybe not.

Ah, randomness

So, today, I watched an episode of The Simpsons from last year. I missed most of last season, but the ones I did catch weren't that great. However, this one, oh my God. Hilarious. Some co-eds move into the Flanders house and set up a web-cam operation. Just awesome.
The best line has to be Bart cutting off some guy's pony tail and later playing with it, going, "Ooo, look at me, I'm a graduate student. I'm smart. I'm thirty and I can't find a job," to which Marge replies, "Bart, don't make fun of graduate students. They just made a terrible life choice." Just precious.

While my Funny Bone Gently Weeps

So, I've got to say that the not-quite cancellation of Arrested Development has seriously bummed me out. No more thinking-man's humor, just more drudgery from the likes of Charlie Sheen and Michael Rapaport. I will admit that, oddly enough, when I watch Charlie Sheen's show, I don't feel dirty afterward, just dumber. I cannot say the same for Mr. Rapaport's shitfest, The War at Home. The show is just trash. Subjects covered in it thus far have included the parents' occasional marijuana use, oral sex, and the fifteen-year-old daughter wanting breast implants. It is The Jerry Springer Show in sitcom form. Well, maybe there are less fights, I don't know.
So, last night, I was at Wal-Mart at about 1:30 AM and tried to find something, anything really, good out on DVD. All the movies were crap. Most of the TV box sets were too expensive. Then I found Frasier's 7th season for $30. I already have season 1 and 2 and really enjoyed them, so I didn't even look to see what the main arc of season 7 was. I just bought it and went home. It turns out it's the season where Daphne and Niles finally get together in the end, after she ducks out of her wedding and runs off with Niles. Thinking back, it's probably the best season of the show. I'm really glad I got it.
As I was watching it, though, it struck me just how funny the show was to me on an intellectual level. It wasn't sight gags or low-brow humor, but it was really smart at times. Jokes that I didn't get 5 years ago now make perfect sense because of how much I've learned over those years. The show is damn funny. Sure, it has a laugh-track, which is currently the bane of my existence, but I can get past that. There was a joke that cracked me up just a few minutes ago (yes, I'm watching this at work). Frasier, Niles, and Martin, the dad, are in the Winnebago and Niles wants to drive. Martin says, "Son, you don't handle big cars very well. I remember when I tried to teach you to drive my Le Sabre, you kept pulling the emergency brake." Niles deftly responds, "Well, that's because those mailboxes weren't slowing my down at all." God. The final season of the show may have been a bit much, but I still think that Frasier was one of the better shows that has graced the television screen.

If one more person comes up to my desk asking for "help," I swear I'm gonna...

Stupid library patrons.
So, I'm sitting here, wasting time that should be used for some of the multiple projects coming up, and I'm doing nothing. I looked up a lot of wikipedia articles that did nothing but rot my brain, and now I'm watching Episode III. Ah, capitalism and its wonderful incentives to do work. Pshah (trying a little onomatopeia there).
You know, I wanted to strangle myself during the scene with Anakin and Padme on the veranda or whatever. God, horrible dialogue. Portman looks horrible in the shot, with this emaciated, sunken eyes, "on the verge of death" look like someone who experienced the Holocaust for about a month. I really don't get why she looks so god-awful in that scene. And then Anakin says something along the lines of "You're so beautiful" and I almost shouted (in the middle of the library, mind you),"No, you fucking moron, she doesn't. I've seen shots where she looked beautiful. This, you dumbass, isn't one of them." I mean, seriously, Lucas, you'll digitally fuck with every other fucking thing in the movie, why not give her some complexion in this one damn scene. If you're going to say how beautiful someone looks and not have it be a pity compliment (like saying to a burn victim, "No, you're still beautiful, honey"), at least make me understand it. Of course, the scene also has this line, "So, love has made you blind?" which I suppose makes her look make some sense if you want to stretch like a poodle across a couch, but that ain't how it's meant to be.
I guess I'll do a running commentary like I did with War at Home.
So, I really liked Ewan McGregor in this one. See, in the other two, he wasn't Ben Kenobi. He was a shade of Old Ben, but he wasn't there yet. I'm not sure if he slowly adjust to be more like the Ben of the original trilogy or if the writing changed for the character each time. I understand the idea behind having a young Obi-Wan who was by-the-book and very strict in his ideals and then have him change over time to be a more adaptive and resilient Jedi, but it just didn't really work for me. It wasn't until this one where he really seems to be a younger version of the Obi-Wan we see in the original trilogy. There's a balance of humor and serenity, of friend and mentor, of duty and drive. That's the Ben I see in the original movies, that's the Ben I see in Episode III. Rock on, Ewan.
"This war represents a failure to listen." There's something about that line that works in the current contexts of our world, but I'm not really sure how it works in the Star Wars universe, or at least with the Clone Wars. It wasn't a failure to listen that led to the wars, it was (at least on the surface, Sith influence not withstanding) a corrupt bureaucracy that was bogged down in tradition and petty squables that led to the vast majority of systems leaving the Republic. Ultimately, I think it's that line that really, for me, drives home Lucas' attempt to make a statement with the film.
"Good is a point of view, Anakin." Man, how true is that line. See, that's why Palpatine steals the film. He gets all the best lines and spouts a philosophy that one can almost understand why Anakin falls for it. True, it's portrayed as evil from the film's point of view, but it's all relative.
"I know [the Jedi] don't trust you." "Or the Senate, or the Republic, or democracy for that matter." Look, let's cover a few things. First, as I have preached so many damn times, a republic is not a democracy. There might be democratic elements to a republic, but for a republic to exist, true democracy does not. Second, why the hell should the Jedi trust Palps? His term had expired, he's trying to manipulate the Jedi Council by putting Anakin on it, and he won't say that he'll give up his post once the war is finished. To me, that's not a leader that should be trusted. Plus, dude's so friggin' evil, man. Come on!
I've got to say, I read the novelization of this and it was absolutely awesome. I generally dislike novelizations of anything, but the one for Episode III had a cool style and system behind it, analyzing the characters in a really cool way. One of the things that it did was explain why Anakin was so pissed off about not being made a Jedi Master. The Jedi Temple had a bunch of texts that were only accessible to Masters, and some of those texts dealt with prolonging life and bringing people back from death. So, with those texts, Anakin might have been able to save Padme without Palp's help (bunch of good that did him, anyway). At least that concept made it seem more like Anakin actually gave a damn about someone else and not just himself.
"There's no war here, unless you brought it with you." I really like that line. There's this inner war idea that it invokes, that war exists only in the hearts of those whose wage it and that is how war gets transmitted, through contact with those not involved in it, almost like a virus. There's also this sense that war follows you wherever you go. You can see this sense in some veterans, that the war will constantly follow them, no matter where they go.
"Hello there." See, that's something I can totally see old Ben Kenobi doing, analyzing a situation, dropping right in the middle of it, and just totally kicking ass. When I first watched this scene, it was out of context. The video game had the part where he looks down and just drops into the middle of all these droids and says, "Hello there," then instantly pulls out his saber and it switches over to gameplay. To me, it seemed like Ben was just being stupid. Now, I completely understand what he was going for.
"Oh, I don't think so!" There's just this closeup shot of Grievous and Ben's eyes that's totally awesome. The CG of Grievous' face, complete with alien skin and eyes and cracks and scratches in the mask, is really well done. It really lends an intimate feel to the battle between the two characters, too.
"I get the feeling that I'm being excluded from the Council." Gee, you dumbass, could it be that you're not supposed to be on it anyway? It's like gays in scouts. If you force a gay child or leader to be part of a troop, the others are going to exclude them because they're being forced upon them without true acceptance.
There's this moment where Ben kicks Grievous and then yells out in pain, because, well, he's kicking solid metal. As stupid as it seems, it's a totally human moment. When humans are desperate to defend themselves, they'll hit, kick, scratch, do whatever they can. So, to me, Ben's kick, while stupid, is a real human moment for the character, which is something that's often criticized about these films.
Oh, God, it's the horrible scene where Anakin and Padme look at each other while they're several miles apart. Talk about a scene that just drags and adds nothing. We know that Anakin's going to turn because of her, we really don't need this scene. Look, I started typing this paragraph about fifteen seconds into the scene and it's still going on. God, so long.
Finally, cool shit with a bad motherfucker taking on just an evil motherfucker.
I get this sense that Palpatine is really digging the fight, just enjoying the hell out of it. Think about it, he's been this politician in public for roughly twenty years, when's the last chance he's had to kill some Jedi?
"The treason of the Sith will never return." When Mace says this line, we're just supposed to buy it, and I can because I know about "the treason of the Sith" from thousands of years before the movies begin. But what about the fans who haven't a clue? The background of the Sith isn't set up that well in these movies, causing the whole arc concerning the Sith to be somewhat confusing.
"A powerful Sith you will become." Why does Palpy have a Yoda line? Hmmm... Never caught that before.
Gotta tell you, those yellow, glowing eyes on Palpy freak me the fuck out. They freaked me out in Return when I was five, they freak me out now that I'm in my twenties.
"Commander Cody, the time has come." So, you're telling me that the leader of the Republic/Empire has the time to learn the names of every clone commander of every army on every planet, and then to contact them individually. Shouldn't it have just been a broad order to every clone? Palpy's got some serious free time on his hands.
Well, that's it for now. I'm going off to lunch, and then I'll enjoy the live episode of West Wing. God, I hope Alda totally forgets his lines and says something extremely dumb, like the Social Security can be saved. Somebody's gotta slip up or else it just won't be any fun.

Another worthless Friday...Yay!

So, I was supposed to go to the racetrack today with friends, but it got cancelled due to a lot of people dropping out and the fact that I felt like shit when I got up today.
So, with no real plans, I decided to do what I do best: sit around and waste time. I had some errands to run, which basically consisted of returning a rented DVD to one place, picking up some new movies to watch, getting a bunch of Cokes (5 for $5 at Kroger, whoo!), and um, seems like there was something else, but it doesn't really matter. So, at the cheap rental place, I decided to pick up a lot of films I'd either heard were good or had seen chunks of and wanted to see more, as well as one that caught my attention at the store. I picked up the original Longest Yard, Comic Book Villains, The War at Home, How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog, Playing Mona Lisa, and the first Superman. So far, I've watched The Longest Yard, which was really overrated and not that funny (which says something about the recent remake, since I hear it is almost the same word for word), and Comic Book Villains, which wasn't that great. It was in the Comedy section, and it really belongs in Drama, because it's funny for about five minutes and then it becomes this tense, twisting drama that's not only unfunny, but just mean, like the director/writer wanted to take the viewer into the human soul to show just how caught up we can get in things that should be worthless, that life needs to be interaction in this world and not living vicariously through the actions of superheroes with super-hot girls and awesome powers who save the world month after month, and that it is even more wrong to horde comics for the purpose of selling them to collectors, because that can lead men to do stupid things in the pursuit of money and fame, that in the end it all spirals out of control and the realities of life crash into these men, yet, in the end, evil gets what it deserves and the good guy can come out on top, that the intention behind an action can be the ultimate deciding factor in where the person performing that action ends up, but also that the semi-bad guy, the one whose key moment provides the rising action of the story, can also end up successful for a different reason, that it is possible for good and evil to triumph in their own ways (sorry, I decided at some point to make a Faulkner sentence just to see if I could. It's ain't pretty, that's for sure). So, yeah, not that good. Right now, I'm watching The War at Home, which is a film about a Vietnam vet, played by Emilio Estevez, who returns home and is still kind of disoriented by his experiences in the war. His father is this Southern patriarch who fought in WWII and is played by, of course, Martin Sheen. There's this barrier between the father and son. Oh, god, so far, it's been alright, but it seriously just bought into the cliche of using Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth" in a movie that concerns 'Nam. Bah. Anyway, the barrier between father and son reminds me of this story by Tim O'Brien (whose stories always concern Vietnam and which I'm always moved by for one reason or another). The story was about this kid who returns home from two years in 'Nam and is struggling to reconnect. He's driving around the lake on July 4th, just circling it seven or eight times, taking it slow, trying to work through his issues. His father fought in WWII and never talks about it. The kid, Paul Berlin (who was a standard in O'Brien's stories and is considered his Mary Sue), has no one to talk to about the horrors that occurred there, like when a friend of his started to crawl into a Viet Cong tunnel, got shot in the neck, and the guy's legs just spasmed, the wretched spasm that is somehow so vivid in my skull without having actually seen it myself. The kid's driving around and just imagining that his father is in the truck with him, talking to him about it all. I think this has an impact on me because I see the same issue with my father and grandfather, both of which were in the military, fought in their own wars, but never talk about it, not to each other, not to anyone. I think they try and forget what they saw, but you can look at them and tell that they can't, and bottling it up is hard on them. Anyway, it's kind of funny, because while I wrote that last bit, in the movie, the daughter said to Martin Sheen that someone needs to talk to Emilio about his issues, and the father replied, "That may be, but it's not anybody in this family." Heh. Anyway, so far, except for the cliche, it's not that bad of a film. It's definitely the standard "Vietnam Vet has troubles adjusting" film, but at least I can be sure that it won't turn into a Rambo film with Emilio flipping out and killing dozens of people. The film reminded me of Cadence, which had Martin Sheen as the commander of a military prison and Charlie Sheen as a new prisoner (not playing father and son). I remember liking it when I was younger, but can't remember much about it now. It's now on my list of rentals for next weekend.
Bah, the boys were acting up and I had to go attend to them. Silly mutts. I'll probably be like the dwainker and start posting pictures of them on here soon. The problem is that they don't stay still enough to snap photos of.
Anyway, right now, I've still got about half of War at Home to watch, as well as Supes (which I'm not sure I've ever seen all the way through, and if I have, it's been a while), How to Kill You Neighbor's Dog (I've seen about half of it, and I find Branagh hilarious, so here's hoping), and Playing Mona Lisa (not to be confused with Mona Lisa's Smile, this is about a piano prodigy and her decision whether or not to attend Juliard, I think. I've seen maybe a third of it and liked it, so I figured what the heck). For my next rental cycle, I think I'll get Frailty (the movie with Matt MacConaughey and Bill Paxton, which tries to be suspenseful but which is totally given away by the promotional material, since the poster makes Matt look as evil as possible, yet the story tries to make him out to be a good guy), Liberty Stands Still (yeah, it has Wesley Snipes in it, but it has Oliver Platt in a serious role, which is usually a plus. The premise of the film is kind of like Phone Booth, but it looks to be about ten times better), Beat (about the major beatniks and their lives), Vulgar (it has most of the cast of Clerks in it and is about a run-of-the-mill party clown who saves the day and hits it big. Kind of like Death to Smoochy, but it doesn't look as cheesy, so here's hoping), Red Dawn (an anti-commie film about All-American kids who form a resistance group when Soviets invade their town. It has an interesting smattering of actors who became famous around the time of the film and then pretty much disappeared, including Charlie Sheen, Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, and Lea Thompson), and now Cadence.
Heh, Kathy Bates just had a great line: "War doesn't make you rude to your parents."
I was watching I Love the 80s: 3D earlier, which is VH1's attempt to pull as much money out of a concept as possible. (Oh, my God, Kathy Bates is a total bitch. She's all about that "keeping up appearances" thing that the Brits and the Southerners are into. She's talking to her mother on the phone and then gives the phone to Emilio. He tells her that he's thinking about moving to California and she basically rips the phone away from him, telling her mother that the boy's just kidding. She then covers the receiver on the phone and calls Emilio a "vagrant." Bitch) Anyway, they were talking about mousse on ILt80s and how you were supposed to use it with discretion. Jane Wiedlin of the Go-Gos had this great quote: "You were supposed to use it with discretion, but a lot of us in the 80s didn't have discretion because we were on drugs!"
I've been paying attention to this movie for the most part, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to rewatch it. I think my main problem is that I like it and I haven't a real clue why. It's a cliche movie, yet it seems really good. Of course, in a way, Elizabethtown is a cliche movie that I think is damn good, so I guess anything is possible.
Martin Sheen's character is a lot like Bartlet. He's the kind of patriarch who's trying to keep everything together, giving everyone commands and expecting them to follow them, but it's just not working. In fact, Emilio just told him to "fuck off," which is kind of awesome. The family is completely breaking apart right now and it feels natural, and it's kind of heartbreaking. Yeah, seriously rewatching this at some point soon.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll probably post another one tomorrow about the other films.

I fucking hate work

I'd much rather be home playing X-Men Legends for 8 hours straight while listening to our fucking dogs bark constantly than sit here and do the equivalent of absolutely nothing for the same amount of time. I'm about ready to just plain quit. I think I actually lose money by being here. The sadest part is that my time left here isn't even half over. Six Sundays down, the majority of one left today, and eight more to go. Fuck.

Everyone is less mysterious than they think they are

This morning, I saw Elizabethtown. I've been looking forward to this movie for about two years, I guess. See, I love Almost Famous. I loved the original version that Cameron Crowe put out. It was a great film to me. Then I watched Untitled, the director's cut of AF. Most director's cuts add about 10-15 minutes to the film. Untitled was 40 minutes longer than Almost Famous. It was ten times better for me. Almost all of the extra footage added to the plot, the pacing was excellent, the film was a masterpiece. Crowe said that the studio wouldn't let him put out the nearly three-hour version in theaters, but DVD gave him a lot of extra freedom to do what he wanted with the film. The DVD set of Untitled (which was what Crowe originally wanted Almost Famous called, but the studio wouldn't let him do that either) includes both the AF original cut and the director's cut. I tried watching the theatrical version one day and couldn't. The film is so much richer because of those extra 40 minutes.
Anyway, so, I was looking forward to Elizabethtown. I didn't watch Vanilla Sky because the film looked a bit odd, I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan, and it was based off of a Hispanic film, which meant that the majority of the film really wouldn't be from Crowe's heart and past, which is where AF and Say Anything were from. So, I skipped it. I watched the first trailer and was okay with it. Nothing great, but trailers are often formulaic and don't really get to the heart of the movie. I watched the internet trailer on apple.com and was really moved. I don't know if it was Elton John's song "My Father's Gun" that played over the majority of the trailer (which featured very little dialogue, as the dialogue was mostly muted while the song played, which was kind of odd) or just what I could derive from the scenes from expressions and not dialogue, but it was simply great.
I watched everything that came out about the movie. Trailers, the internet trailer, even the music selection trailer on Apple's site. I devoured it all. I was expecting a really good movie.
So, I went to the first screening today. I went a little late because last time I'd gone to a movie at that time of day on a Friday, the theater had been practically empty (of course, that's when I went to see Serenity, so there you go). The place was packed. I went into the theater and it was almost full. See, I live near Elizabethtown, so a lot of people wanted to see the movie because it's based in a city near where they live (not why I was there). Then I remembered that it's Fall Break time for the kids around here, so a lot of youth groups were there (heh, they said "fuck" twice in the movie and I heard a lot of gasps. I loved that). I found a seat that was a single, next to the handicapped area at the back. That was nice.
Until a manager came in and said that there was a woman there with her handicapped daughter and they wanted to sit together. I was having a nice day and said I'd move. I got up and looked around. I don't like to sit next to strangers in a theater. I'm not wild about sitting next to anyone in the theater unless I'm close to them in some way (really good friend, hot girl, etc.). So, the only seats that worked into that criteria were in the front row. Alright, fine, how bad could it be to sit in the front row?
I basically had to scootch down as far as possible to see the entire screen. Shit. This movie had better be fucking good. Fucking youth groups and fucking old people taking up all the fucking seats. It'd better be fucking good.
It was.
It was so damn good.
It was the best movie I've seen this year. I love Star Wars and really liked Episode 3. This was better. Critics fell all over themselves for Batman Begins and Serenity. I thought they were both mediocre. I liked Wedding Crashers and The 40-Year-Old Virgin. A History of Violence was good. War of the Worlds and Mr. & Mrs. Smith were okay, but forgettable. Sin City was gritty and harsh, but good. Saraha wasn't as bad as I expected, but wasn't all that good.
But Elizabethtown was abso-fucking-lutely great. It easily was better than all of those movies from the past 10 months. I can't even recall a movie from 2004 that was that good.
I hate Orlando Bloom. He was really good in this, even great at times.
I used to dislike Kirsten Dunst. Something changed that about 6 months ago and I can't put my finger on it why. In this, she was really good (the Southern accent that they tried to work in for her was the only nitpick I had, and I'm not sure if it grated on me for a specific reason or if it was just that I'm used to her normal accent that she uses in every other movie I've seen her in).
The soundtrack was great and I'm thinking about heading to Wal-Mart to buy it right now. In fact, I think I will. Meh, probably not. I don't know.
I was worried it would be Garden State all over again. It's not. It's better than Garden State, and I really liked Garden State.
It made me realize things about myself that scare the hell out of me. I'm not ready for my father to die. I fear that I really don't know him that well. I worry about what my mother might be like after my father dies. I fear that I might fail at my chosen profession and have lost five years of my life when I could have done something else. I then wonder what I'd do after I failed. I saw myself in Bloom's shoes and I wonder if my dark appointment with destiny is coming, too.
I'll admit, there wasn't a lot of hilarious dialogue that I could endlessly quote. There little bits of the score were very reminiscent of the AF score. There's set-up for a sub-plot or two that you see scenes of in the trailer but are missing from the film. To me, it doesn't matter.
Critics are trying to rip this a new one. I haven't agreed with critics much this year (look up the review for Batman or Serenity and see how close they are to mine). I love this movie. I was seriously considering sneaking out at the end and then back in before the next showing to see it again, but the next showing had people lined up waiting once we got out of our showing. It was a little ridiculous.
I want this movie. If there'd been a stand outside the theater offering a DVD of the movie (as some studios have considered doing), I'd buy it in a heartbeat. Money is tight now, and I'd still do it.
Don't let my opinion buff up your expectations of the film, though. This film meant a lot to me because of how it related to my life and how I saw the film (figuratively, not literally, but I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't have a crick in my neck at the end). Nearly every part of this film worked for me, and at the end I was satisfied. I walked out of the theater without a real complaint. I just wish I could see more movies like this.

Lookin' into their eyes, I see they're runnin' too

     Wow, it's actually been a week since I last wrote one of these. Look, it's just the second sentence and I know this is going to be a long one. It's been brewing in my mind for the last couple of days, and it's a mighty strong brew, so I'll try to put in a couple of stopping points for those without the time or the inclination to read extremely long posts.
     Friday night, I was out at a friend's house just to hang out. About a half hour after getting there, my dad calls and says that a guy was at their house asking for me. It turned out that is was Calvin, who was my best friend through junior high and high school. We were pretty inseparable, taking a lot of the same classes, hating the same teachers, and we were totally devoted to the Yearbook program. Sometime near the middle of our junior year, Calvin got a girlfriend, it became serious, and she ended up getting pregnant. Calvin tried to "do the right thing" by asking her to marry him, but her parents wouldn't let it happen. The kid was born the July between our junior and senior years. Calvin stuck with school pretty regularly until the spring of our senior year, and then he started missing school. A lot. When Spring Break rolled around, he dropped out, although the girl stuck with it until she graduated. Calvin took care of the kid, she went to school. I didn't talk to him much that summer, but the next summer, we got together and hung out for the day. He'd gotten married to the girl in a small courthouse ceremony the previous September, which I wasn't told about and was honestly a little hurt that he hadn't invited me or informed me in some manner (After all, my e-mail address hasn't changed in seven years, and he could obviously find where I lived today, so it seems he could at least drop me a line). For some reason, we went car shopping for him that day, and he bought new car (Calvin was really, really into cars in high school. When I say that, I mean that he had maybe five cars he was working on at one point in time. Some people collect stamps, Calvin collected crappy "classic" cars that really needed work). He bought that car three years ago. We hadn't talked since. He worked for Grandy's pretty steadily after the girl became pregnant and he was some kind of manager when I last saw him, so two years ago, I went to Grandy's to try and find him, but he had left by that point. I think I tried calling the phone number that he gave me, but I didn't get in touch with him. Even the e-mail address bounced back. He was essentially gone.
     So, three years after I last saw him, I get that call from my dad. As it turns out, I was home that weekend, so it was amazingly lucky that Calvin caught me when he did. We talked for a few minutes on the phone, during which time I gently probed for information. He and the wife had separated sometime last year after she'd had a second kid with him, she'd joined the National Guard and shipped off in January and came back in April, at which time she asked him for a divorce. So, the wife is now the ex-wife. He was now driving a truck for a junkyard, going on a big, circular path through several neighboring states five days a week. He was renting a house from an old English teacher of ours. There was this tone in his voice that made him sound hollow, that joy really didn't exist for him except where his kids were concerned. I told him where I was and told him to swing by, I was going to ditch my friends for the night to hang out with him. (Potty break if you need it)
     So, Calvin picked me up and we just went. Our hometown is now essentially a suburb of a big town across the river, so we naturally headed in that direction, since our town is dying a very slow death (the local theater went out of business, so now we have to travel about 30 miles to a theater in neighboring towns. It sucks). Anyway, so we talked about where I was, where old friends were, and he talked about regrets. He was so pissed at himself for not having stuck with high school and then gone to college. He was one of the smartest kids in the school. He scored a distinguished on his portfolio, and he was one of only 15 kids in my senior class to do that (unfortunately, they couldn't count his scores toward the final tally because he dropped out). Now, when he drives his truck, five times a week, he passes the university where he had planned to go. We ended up going to a pizza place/bar and then back to his place to continue to catch up. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to catch up on. It ended up being a lot like Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days," where people who knew each other in high school end up talking about high school. Calvin and I weren't really trying to get back to our "glory days," we just really didn't have anything else to talk about. That was kind of fun, but it was also sad. At the end of the night, I gave him my e-mail address and phone number, and told him that if he ever gets a chance to visit, I've got a couch with his name on it. I really want to build a friendship with him again, but I'm wondering how to.
     The thing that makes me sad the most is that despite how close we were, there's not the much there now. I told him things about my life that very few people know, but it has no real impact on him like it does on my current circle of friends. Where I currently am, I have friends who are like siblings to me, that I share just about everything with and enjoy hanging out with for hours on end. Yet, in a few years, when we move away for jobs or just to wander the Earth, when I get together with them, will we have anything in common, or will we just talk about our "glory days?" I seriously don't want that to happen. I'm sad to find out it happened to Calvin and me, but it scares me that it might happen to me and some of my current friends. I hope it doesn't happen, I really do. I have a hard time imagining what my life would be like without talking to these people once a week; I can't fathom not doing so for months or years at a time.
     Catching up with Calvin also taught me a lesson about, well, me. The past few years, I've felt like I've done nothing with my life. Yeah, I've got a degree, but I really didn't do anything to get it. I took classes that seemed like they'd be fun, some of which were. I took classes that were "required" and did the least amount of work possible, passing them all with relative ease. I've paid a lot of money to get a degree that was really just a way to get into a grad program, which I'm actually learning from and doing stuff in. Except for social growth, I feel like I've lost four years. I'm unmotivated. I'm tired of the bureaucratic bullshit that I've been going through. I've questioned how the hell I got to where I am, and tried to find exactly what figurative roads brought me here. I think I have friends here who are the same way, but I've been with most of them for the past four years, so we ended up questioning it all together. Calvin taught me that he's done the same thing. He was on a very different path, yet we're all starting to feel the same way. There's a line from Jackson Browne's "Running on Empty" which I took a chunk of as the title of this post:

"Lookin' out at the road rushin' under my wheels,
I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels.
I look around at the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through.
Lookin' into their eyes, I see they're runnin' too."

From what Calvin told me about where several people from high school currently are, we're all runnin' on empty. That's sad, but comforting, too.
     He also brings another Jackson Browne lyric to mind which would make an awesome SotP, but this seems more appropriate. Calvin's graduated with his GED last year (valedictorian, actually, scoring extremely high without having studied any of it since high school), doesn't have the financial structure to go to school, has two kids that are weighing heavily on him since their mother really doesn't want them because they interrupt her new partying lifestyle, a job he doesn't like and with no real chances to move up the ladder, a friend's wife who is falling in love with him and he feels wrong about it, and no real friends around, only asshole cousins who grab his ex-wife's ass in front of him to tick him off and who take and deal drugs but say that "it's okay, we're working undercover for the cops." Essentially, Calvin is surrounded by shit, and he knows that he's to blame for a good chunk of it. That's why "These Days" comes to mind, and the lines

"These days I sit on cornerstones,
And pass the time in quarter-tones to ten, my friend.
Don't confront me with my failures;
I have not forgotten them."

It was oddly prophetic that I put that on a CD to drive home to Thursday morning. It saddens me to know that Calvin is in that situation, and it saddens me even more that I can't really do anything about it other than drop him a line every now and then so he has someone to talk to it about.
     Well, that's about it. It was a long, sweeping narrative epic that I'm sure had you enthralled. Hope you took advantage of the pee break and, if you didn't, I hope your bladder didn't explode. However, if that was the case, your dedication is appreciated.

So there I was...mother of God, there I am!

Yeah, so, I found myself considering today how I've been fighting stupidity and empty words with intelligence, yet still empty words. I've been in this debate with a dumbass over Christian ideals, yet the only real source of ammo is the Bible. The problem with that is that the Bible is not really a good source of Christian ideals. See, it contradicts itself, and it was put together not by God, but by a group of men who were wanting to run things their way, also known as the Catholic Church. See, the Bible was not sent down from on high directly to a publisher. In fact, the books of the New Testament were just testaments and letters and memoirs of various people from 2000 years ago (give or take several hundred). The Catholic Church took these and decided which ones should be taught and which ones should not. The ones that worked for their needs became the Catholic Bible. The ones that went against their idea of how the Church should be became the Apocrypha. Some of these texts were even written by saints of the Catholic Church, such as Bartholomew, one of the forgotten 12 apostles. While the dwainker might point out how much the Catholic Church and Christianity were influenced by Peter, it's important to remember that the Bible was put together several generations after Peter died. Several of the gospels and works in the apocrypha are very different versions of the stories you'd find in your Bible today, yet they were written around the same time by men who spent just as much time with Jesus. In that sense, it's hard not to look at the Bible and realize that some information has been kept from you, all in the name of creating a certain face for Christianity. In some stories, Eve didn't eat the fruit off the tree, she had sex with Satan, and that's why man fell. So, if you're trying to find a version of the story to tell your kids and create a kind and gentle face for your religion (which is all about abstinence and monogamy), which one are you going to pick? Christianity is really just like politics: you put spin on everything to make it look good for the little people who support you. I'm not saying that you should just throw out the Bible, but I wish that somehow Christianity could be a little more honest with itself and understand its history instead of just blindly going along with what the Bible says. Some may argue that the men who put the Bible together were divinely influenced, but that doesn't jive with the huge (and well-documented) debate behind whether or not to include Revelations in the Bible. If these guys were led by God, wouldn't it have been a fast and easy decision instead of a long and draw out battle?
The idea of Christianity's past led me to wonder about its future. Have you ever considered what will replace Christianity? It only makes sense that something will. That's how it's worked in the past. For example, there were the Greeks and their gods. Zeus was on high and Hera was a bitch, and all was well. Then the Romans came and said, "Hey, we like a lot of this religious stuff. Let's use it for ourselves." And so they did, only using new names for the same shit. Then came the Christians, who were persecuted until Constantine said, "Hey, let's give this a try." And so they did, and Christians went all over the world saying, "We know better than you. Let's civilize you and save your soul." So, the question is, what will come and take Christianity's place? Science seems a bit obvious, since it's a religion in itself (much like Greek mythology, where everything had an explanation to it, and a particular god assigned to it, science does the same thing, and just has a theory name assigned to it instead). I don't know. Maybe Oprahism will do it. Man, have you seen women on that show when she comes out? Had Christ gotten half that reception, I'm pretty sure the Catholic Church would use an old man in bed as their symbol instead of a depressing old crucifix.
It also makes total sense to me why Christianity is the more or less official religion of America. Look at what Americans did: Native Americans lived happily with their way of life, then the Americans came in and said, "We know better than you. Let's civilize you." And so they did, with smallpox and gunpowder and glass beads. Look, I like where I am now, but I know that blood has been spilled over this spot time and again, and that makes me look at it all a little differently than most Americans. It also makes me wonder what will come in and take the United States' place someday.

Never thought this would happen

Yeah, so, two posts in 24 hours time. It's an amazing world after all.
I just finished watching Extras, the new comedy series by Ricky Gervais, the guy behind The Office. I loved The Office and so I was a little apprehensive about Extras. Wow. The first two shows weren't that great, but, oh man, the last four just killed me. Kate Winslet's episode was so funny that I nearly had a stroke. The next two were really funny, too, and the last one, with Patrick Stewart, was so funny I had tears in my eyes. Wow.
The first two episodes reminded me of The Office because of that "painful" feeling you get watching it, but later episodes mixed that and just straight-out humor. Just amazingly good stuff.

Serenity = Okay

Yeah, so, I went and saw Serenity today. I gave in. And it was, as you can see above, okay. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it. It ranks about where Batman Begins did.
I loved the dialogue, and picked up a few new terms, including the expletive "God's Balls." Yeah, that one's getting used tonight. But...
Wash and Book died, and they were two characters that I really liked. Also, I liked Mal in the show, but there was just something...odd about him in the movie. Inara was included simply to "get the band back together." Simon and Kaylee getting together was nice, but it didn't feel like a real payoff. Wash's death was quick and mean, something you don't see much in films, but completely unnecessary. Book's death was appropriate, I'll give you that, but I do want to know his backstory, which was hinted at so much without payoff so far. Jayne was just there to deliver funny lines and as an enforcer. I'll give you the fact that he was that in the show, but it was just one-note to me. It reminded me of the X-Files movie, where everything that happened there could happen on the show proper. True, Firefly was cancelled, but this would have worked just as well as a mini-series in the vein of Farscape's The Peacekeeper Wars. It was all payoff for what happened on the show, felt a little less rushed, and still told a sweeping storyline that could stand on its own. With Serenity, there was so much catch-up for the one new guy in the theater (who probably wandered in by mistake) that it hindered the movie a bit. To me, the movie needs a viewing of the show to really understand a lot of what's going on. Luckily, I did that. What about the people who didn't.
Oh, and how can Mal have received an honor for valor at the Battle of Serenity Valley? It was the final, crushing battle in the war, so are you telling me that the Browncoats had a meeting to give out awards and then disbanded? That's like a Confederate getting an award for being at the Battle of Palmito Ranch (the last actual land battle of the American Civil War. The winner? The Rebels. Heh).
Anyway, I thought the movie was alright. I went in with mediocre expectations. I got roughly what I expected.
Other than that, I guess there isn't much to say.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock

No, this isn't the end of an episode of 24.
I realized that time is quietly slipping away from me while I'm at work, losing 8 hours of my life for shitty pay and no real service to anyone.
Also, I recently did this online survey that gave statistics on how longs I've done certain activities in my life. I know that it's really wrong, though, since it would require me to have spent over half of my life asleep. It also said that I would have spent over 1.7 years on the toilet, which is a statistic that I'm uncertain to the validity of. Oddly enough, I searched for "average time spent on a toilet" in various forms on google and yahoo, and even asked Jeeves "How long does the average person spend on the toilet in their lifetime," to which he had no answer. Psh.
Anyway, I was stumbling today and found this interesting website that lets you make a face out of pre-existing parts, like eyes, hair, noses, etc. I made my own face and had difficulty choosing a nose and a mouth. In the end, it seemed pretty dead-on. Of course, it looks like a wanted poster. Heh. That gives me a couple of ideas, actually.
So, when I'm in Hell, and I get pissed at someone, where should I tell them to go?
I stumbled on another funny quote site today and it has a couple of good one. For example, I know it's illegal to park in a handicapped parking spot, but is it illegal for me to use a handicapped toilet? Or, when French people curse, do they say "Pardon my English?" Or, why do you click on start to exit Windows? Yeah, they're bad, but a little bit funny, too.
So, I was reading this kid's short story prologue earlier today and realized that people need to stop writing high fantasy. At this point, the market is oversaturated with high fantasy stories that are all essentially the same. I understand that a 14-year-old kid is writing this crap, but it really drove the point home for me. There's a mysterious child/savior, the gruff, strong hero that doesn't smile but has a heart of gold, the mysterious prophet, and a dwarf in dwarven armor. God. I really blame LotR movies for this, because they really simplified the whole ideal of high fantasy and put it out there for every Tom(my), Dick, and Hairy Dork to replicate in a really poor manner. I like the movies, but this is one of those sad aftereffects that just make me sorry they were ever made. High fantasy is suffering from franchise fatigue.
So, I'm a little torn. This coming weekend, Serenity comes out in theaters. I'm not a die-hard fan of Firefly, but the show had some good dialogue and interesting concepts. It was also unique, something that's hard to come by on television these days. Yet, most of the stories were crap, I didn't like several characters, and two that I do like get killed off in the movie. So I'm torn.
The main thing about the show that really gets me is the backstory of Mal, the captain. He fought in a civil war and lost. There's just something powerful to me about being on the losing side in a civil war. I am not a supporter of the Confederacy at all, yet it's never touched on about how people in that era felt when they lost. It's crushing to believe in a cause and then to have that cause be overpowered. As Americans, we're often told that "no one can ever take your beliefs from you," and that "dreams don't die." The problem with that is that the American government doesn't really care about the beliefs of its people, and that we are on the losing side of many battles with the government because it's a republic and not a democracy. I was watching a video the other day where I guy claimed that "In a democracy, the will of the majority of the people rules. In a republic, the minority's voice matters just as much as the majority's." In a way, that's true, but that's also a point where the system gets bogged down. Anyway, I look at Mal, whose spirit has been crushed by this loss, who strives to be free of the iron clasp of the government that he fought against, and I feel a true connection to him. I look at him and wonder, if the US ever fell into civil war again (as it very well might) and I fought for a group that eventually lost, would I end up like him? In a way, I hope so. His hope is gone, but his spirit is defiant nonetheless, and he is, in his own way, free.
Bah.

...and to the democracy, for which it stands?

Hey, kiddies, it's time for your civics lesson of the day.
A couple of years ago, I was having an argument with a young friend of mine (who the dwainker met this past May when this friend stayed at Casa de los Dwain). Somehow, we had gotten on the topic of whether the United States was a republic or a democracy. He believed that the US was a democracy, while I knew that it was a republic. He pointed out that we held elections and voted on some legislation. I pointed out that we elected leaders who would then decide on legislation, and that the president was not democratically elected, but instead that electors were voted on, thus the electoral college and not a popular vote win. This went back and forth for a bit, and I gave in slightly, saying that the US was a democratic republic. He wouldn't agree to that, so I finally threw down my ace in the hole "Wes, say the Pledge of Allegiance for me." "Um, okay. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the...shut up." And there you have it.
Now, the reason that I'm telling you this story is that most Americans believe as young Vasily did. My question is, why? Does democracy sound so much better than republic? And will we ever become a democracy?
The real meat of my post lies in that last question. See, America couldn't really be a democracy when it was first formed. Democracy relies on people being able to vote on decisions in a prompt manner and for those decisions to be carried out with equal promptness. This would never work in 1783. Too many people over way too much area. The Ancient Greeks tried this once (I wonder if we'll ever be known as Ancient Americans). Athens actually was a functioning democracy for a few years, but it worked for them because it was a small city-state with only about 50,000 citizens who could vote, if that many. It's also important to note that the democracy lasted until the Peloponnesian War between Athens and Sparta, which resulted in Athens and it's semi-slow decision making process getting their asses kicked by Sparta and its king, thus ending democracy in the world.
So, instead, the founding fathers decided that the best choice was a republican form of government, where the people elected representatives who would then gather and vote on issues in a timely manner. Now, the problem with this is that the people's will is not always carried out and the representatives are often swayed by other forces, such as special interest groups, political alliances, or personal opinion.
Now, look, I'm not saying that the republic is a bad system, I'm just saying that it needs work. Actually, I think that we could morph into a democracy pretty easily. Sadly, I got this idea from American Idol.
Think about it: every week, millions of people vote on who should be a pop star. The little starlets have to get up there each week and sing various types of songs and then America votes on it. Why not do that with politicians? Have all the Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and other third parties get on TV, debate about various topics for five or six, and slowly the group gets whittled down. Every American is given an ID number and a PIN and enter them when they vote. This prevents double voting and gives the system some security. This system is fast, as Fox can tell the results of AI 23 hours later. It's as accurate as polling centers are. It would save loads of money from having to print ballots, maintain machinery, and open poll centers. Americans could vote on any issue they wanted instead of having to "write to their congressman" about issues. It also gets people more involved in the system and they're more likely to vote. This system would effectively wipe out the Legislative Branch of government, although it would still exist to come up with legislation. We'd still need a POTUS to make snap decisions concerning emergency matters (war, hurricane relief, etc.) and to control the Executive Branch. However, the term for POTUS would be changed to one year with a five term limit. Since this system would essentially eliminate campaigning, the President could focus on the country more than having to "get their face out there" and "press the flesh." Maintaining the vote tabulation machines would be fairly inexpensive, especially since the House of Reps would be pretty well wiped out by this. The Senate would stick around mainly as an oversight board for various departments, but would be relatively powerless compared to what it is now. Political parties would fade away since there's no campaigning and people would not be limited to be lumped into one category or another. This system would take away power from the upper class and give it to everyone. People could log onto the internet and look up the vote records to insure that their vote was counted.
The people would be informed on the legislation that is put before them before they vote, with both sides being debated and creating an informed electorate. The Judicial Branch would be left untouched, really, except the Supreme Court really wouldn't debate on whether cases were constitutional or unconstitutional, since the main bulk of the Constitution would be thrown out.
Of course, I was talking to my father about this idea the other day and at the end he says, "I can see it now, a governorship in your future." I don't think he really gets the idea.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy, and it'll never happen since it would have to be approved by Congress and that would be like signing your own death warrant, but, hey, it's something to think about.
Also, I just took the Political Compass test and found out that I am a Liberal Libertarian, putting me in league with Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, and The Dalai Lama. The site also terms me a Communist Anarchist. Heh.

The power of fuck.

So, this past weekend, some of my friends back home were discussing how some curse words have started to lose their power. See, in the golden days, if someone said "fuck," the world kind of stood still for a moment. It couldn't be uttered on tv, including on premium channels like HBO, which, during the 1980s, actually edited films for content. Now, fuck is pretty fucking common. It can easily be used as an adjective, an adverb, a verb, a subject, a gerund, and an interjection, and that's all off the top of my fucking head. Fuck! That fucking fucker is fucking good at fucking. See, four uses of the same term, and I didn't even flinch while typing it. Why the fuck is fuck not a bad fucking word anymore? Just plain fucking overfuckinguse. That makes sense to me. You can't go anywhere without hearing someone yell out the word. Dick Cheney got it yelled at him a couple of weeks ago, to much hilarity. I've heard young kids use that one a time or two, which is really odd. See, back when I was, I don't know, 10, I started cursing. I used shit, damn, bitch, bastard, and a couple of others, but I never once dropped the f-bomb, or as grown-ups say, fuck. That was just a line that I didn't cross. I'm pretty sure I'd heard it, I just never used it. So that's what confuses me about today's world: in order for the term to get overused, it had to start getting used regularly somewhere along the line, and it was all downhill from there.
One friend of mine (who is a police officer) pointed out that there are some power words that he pulls out very rarely, but when he does use them, you know he means business. For example, cunt. See, you probably flinched or laughed a little when you read that. That's because the word still has power. I might write "That fucking fucker is fucking good at fucking," but you won't see me try and write an equivalent with the c-word. As my friend said, "You know that word has power because Hollywood won't even touch that one." Oddly enough, the only movies that really came to mind that used that word were Kevin Smith movies or British films. I've heard horror stories about the Vagina Monologues and its use of the c-word, but that's really the extint to which I've heard it talked about. So, fuck definitely falls short of the c-word in power. I hope it stays that way, personally. I can call somebody a fucker and the oomph just doesn't hit them anymore. However, if I call a woman a cunt, man, I think her options are limited to either killing me or trying to rip my balls off then and there. See, now that's motherfucking power.

Ar! There be spoilers here.

So, look, I'm a huge fan of Battlestar Galactica. Yeah, I know, geek alert. Still, it's a good show that has set a great mood and tension. So, I have this theory, and anyone who hasn't actually watched the show up until the most recent episode (The Final Cut, with Lucy Lawless using her real voice for a change) should stay away from the majority of this post. A lot of the information kind of depends on having seen the episodes in order to understand just what I'm talking about. Also, somewhere down the line, I'm probably going to be proved wrong, so you can't really hold that against me. This is just a theory that seems to meet up with a lot of what's been established in the show.
I also want to say that I put roughly the same argument up on Battlestar Wiki, but some ass deleted it because of a way he interpreted a line, something I'll deal with below.
Okay, ready?

Starbuck's a Cylon.
Yeah, it sounds crazy, but I've been putting this together for about a week and it seems like I might be right.
Okay, first, let's deal with background info, pre-Cylon Holocaust stuff. Starbuck met Zak Adama two years prior to the big attack. Now, the interesting thing there is that Six started her relationship with Baltar two years prior to the attack, and Boomer came aboard Galactica then, too. Two years before the big bang is roughly when the Cylon infiltrators first started working their mojo.
Okay, two years, big deal. Just a coincidence.
Maybe, but there's still this possibility: What if the Cylon plan for Starbuck was for her to initiate a relationship with Zak and then kill him so she could develop a bond with Commander Adama? Yeah, that's stretching a bit, but Zak's death really did create this bond between her and Adama that was stronger than Adama's relationship with Lee.
Okay, next, Starbuck seems to be more versatile than a Swiss Army Knife. In the episode You Can't Go Home Again, Starbuck is able to interface with the crashed Cylon raider and learn how to fly it in, what, maybe an hour? Okay, that's handy. But the fact that she's the only person who can figure it out, given that both Chief Tyrol and Lee Adama try, makes it an oddity. Starbuck is also highly proficient in anything she tries: card playing, flying, art (well, that's a case by case opinion), and is credited as "the best shot in the fleet." Seems like Starbuck could kick Buffy the Vampire Slayer's ass and not break a sweat.
Starbuck seems to be hated by any model of Six she encounters. There's the one in Baltar's head, who seemed quite jealous of her, in Kobol's Last Gleaming, Part I. Then there's the Six she encounters on Caprica in Kobol's Last Gleaming, Part II, who seems extremely aggressive toward Kara, wanting more, it seems, to just beat the hell out of her instead of killing her outright. This hatred seems to mimic the antagonistic relationship seen between Sixes and Boomers throughout the first season.
Starbuck's background that was established in Valley of Darkness and The Farm could be false memories implanted in her much like the background of Boomer's parents. This would also explain Conoy's almost intimate knowledge of Thrace's past in Flesh and Bone.
In The Farm, Starbuck's captured by the Cylons (although she does not know it until the end of the episode) and has a medical procedure performed on her. Simon, who turns out to be a Cylon, states that she has heathy ovaries and should attempt to have a child, which is "one of God's commandments," according to Six. The dialogue that Starbuck overhears concerning the removal of someone's ovaries never specifically mentions her by name, meaning that it is an assumption (albeit a rather good one) that her ovaries are to be removed. It is possible that someone else had fertile ovaries that would be put into Starbuck, who would then be released back to the Resistance in hopes that she would conceive a child like Boomer did. This would also explain why Starbuck was kept in a seperate room instead of becoming a breeder like the other women the Cylons captured. An argument could be made that Starbuck's removed eggs would be fertilized and then placed in infertile women in hopes of increasing the chances for conception, yet this still leaves open why she would have her ovaries removed completely and not be used as a breeder.
The bit that got this removed from Battlestar Wiki was that someone thought that a Cylon said that a Cylon would be used to knock Starbuck up. Look, that's not the case. In fact, Starbuck continually makes the assumption that she'd be raped by a Cylon, but other dialogue makes it seem as if she would be "set up with someone [she] liked." Not someone she would like, but that she did like. As Lee Adama is not a Cylon (his father obviously can vouch for Lee being around for more than two years), and Anders, the resistance leader on Caprica, is probably not a Cylon (he has prestige that makes it seem like he's been around longer than two years), it is more than likely that the two men who Starbuck "likes" are humans. So, how would it be a hybrid if everyone involved is a human. If you want to make the case that Baltar is a Cylon and Starbuck seems to like him, that's pretty iffy. His Cyloniness would explain some things, but it seems like Dr. Cottle's brain scan from Home, Part II, would show sillica pathways or whatever it is that Cylons use for their brains. It didn't. It showed a perfectly normal human brain.
So, anyway, I'm fairly certain that Starbuck's a Cylon. I put the case up here just to immortalize it in hopes that someday I'm proved right and can be the only person who saw it coming this far back (Yeah, I googled "Starbuck's a Cylon" and nothing came up, so I feel unique. Heh.).

Okay, spoilers over.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure what else to talk about. I've had the longest past 48 hours ever. Oy. It's not Kiefer Sutherland bad, but it's been a long haul. The problem is that most of it is my own fault. I could have slept for most of it, but I kept finding excuses (both good and bad) to stay awake.
Work is boring as hell, and there's the threat that my boss is supposed to come in today, which means that most stuff that I can get away with on Sundays is put on hold.
Oh, yeah, fucking republicans.
Well, that's all I'm going to post right now. I might do more later.

Fucking Republican Slime

Somebody should assassinate Pat Robertson. It's called karma, bitch. That fucking asshole was talking about the hurricane and said that "Judge [John] Roberts should be happy that a little tragedy has brought him some good." You're fucking kidding me, right? John Roberts should be happy that thousands of people died, which just happened to take attention away from the debate on if he should be a Supreme Court Justice? Fuck off, Robertson.
And you, too, Barbara Bush. Yeah, that's right. I'm telling a former first lady to fuck off. I was reading the NYTimes yesterday and, while at the Astrodome/Refugee Center, she said "And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this — this is working very well for them." What the fuck is going on? I'm alright with freedom of fucking speech, but have some fucking tact to go the fuck with it. Fucking republican, conservation, religious slime. I'm sure Homeland Security or Secret Service is looking this over because I decided to mention the old hag, but that's just too fucking far. Not everyone gets to live off of oil money in a nice house and is a "priority" to be evacuated if disaster ever comes their way. Fucking scum. Someone needs to make them "underprivileged" for a while so they can understand a little better. And, Goddamn it, yesterday, when I first read that old bitch's comment, I was in class with another annoying bitch. I was visibly pissed and the annoying bitch asked me what was wrong. I said "Fucking Barbara Bush," and the annoying bitch just kind of laughed and said, "Oh, that. Heh." You have no clue how close I was to just striking her across the face right then. Fucking republicans, sticking together like mindless drones. Fucking republicans.

There's one thing that I should mention. I've been watching the British show "The Office" over the last few days, and the theme song got stuck in my head. I decided to look it up and it turns out that the song was most famously done by Rod Stewart and the Faces. Now, this came as a complete surprise to me, so I researched it a little more. It turns out that it was on the record simply called "The Rod Stewart Album," which surprised me yet again because I actually have that LP. What surprised me the most: the song is pretty damn good. My LP version is a bit heavy on the instruments and the vocals get lost every now and then, but it's still good. The digital version was remixed, it seems, because it's pretty balanced.

Fucking republicans.

Thank you, Trisha, for sending your people back in time 1000 years

So, I really like the website digg. It's a great resource for all things tech and geek. I haven't actually registered yet to "digg" stories, but I hit the site at least three times a day to see what's new.
So, just a few minutes ago, I went there and the first article has the horrible title of "North Korea doesn't love Google long time." It seems that Google Earth, the wonderful little spy-type program that Google has put out with detailed satellite pictures of the entire planet, shows where all the bases and official residences are in South Korea. Since Google Earth is available to anyone, the South Korean government is freaking out because now North Korea has access to these maps. Okay, look, let's straighten something out. North Korea already had this information. North Korea not knowing where military bases and special spots are in South Korea is like Canada not knowing where the White House is. Second, sure, North Korea knows where South Korea's shit is, but it works both ways. Now, South Korea can know where North Korean stuff is, which seems like that would be more important in the long run. But, if logic follows, South Korea knows where North Korea's shit was already, since that's like a U.S. citizen not knowing where Toronto is. Wait, dude, shit, where is Toronto?
Anyway, enough of the subversive civics lesson.
Over the last 24 hours, I've become addicted to this game, Patience. It's a difficult but amazingly addictive game that I have lost several hours to, "Just one more game, then I'll stop." The only reason I stopped last night was because my eyes were burning too much and I needed to sleep.
Ah, Labor Day. So nice, so slow. Too bad it's almost over.
The SotP from last time was Smokey Robinson and the Miracles' Tears of a Clown. Stevie Wonder came up with the music, and if anyone has heard anything off of Songs to the Key of Life, it shows. The song is essentially the same song as the Miracles' Tracks of My Tears, about a guy who lost his love but is constantly around her, trying to put off a happy vibe.
Song of the Post: "She came down from Cincinnati; / it took her three days on a train. / Lookin' for some peace and quiet, / hopes to see the sun again."

Birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Boxing Day, and any other holiday all wrapped up in one

Man, I think I'm in love. Yeah, this is ultra-geeky, super-dorky, and quite-a-bit-nerdy, but, man, this is just awesome. Somebody has created the modern-day equivalent to a padd from Star Trek with the Oqo. This micro-computer runs Windows XP and most applications. It's essentially a laptop that is about the size of a quarter of a piece of paper, and just under an inch thick; we're talking roughly Ipod size here. It has a 1 gigahertz processor, 256 megs of RAM, a 20 gig hard drive, built-in microphone, a thumb keyboard, and on and on. It costs just shy of two grand, which, considering how frickin' awesome this thing is, is a hell of a deal. It won't play hardcore games, but that's not really the idea. This is essentially the mother of all PDAs. It has wireless and Bluetooth support, and a video on the site shows some actual occupation related applications, like doctors filing charts and diagnosing patients with it at bedside. Yes, I'd use it to watch videos, but I'm sure I'd use if for other things, as well. The site also says that the hard drive heads will automatically stop and protect themselves if the device registers that it is freefalling. The battery is only ranked for 3 hours of life, but if it's smart and they do what Creative did with their Zen Micro, by plugging it into the wall, it should charge the battery and work at the same time. Man, this is just friggin' awesome.
Also, I found (well, someone on digg.com found ) this opinion article/blog entry about whether bootlegging and pirating really costs the recording and movie industries anything. The man has some good points about whether or not people would actually have gone out and bought the CD in the first place if downloading hadn't been an option. It also gave him some "street-cred" when he pointed out that he had written several books that were currently on the net. It's a pretty smart article that makes some good points.
God, I hate work.
And new people.
And airhead blondes.
With really nice legs.
But who curse like a sailor while watching a college football game at work.
Yeah, there's a story that'll be told later tonight, I'm sure.
Ah, Song of the Post time. Last time's SotP was Jimmy Buffett's cold-weather-drive-me-insane song Boat Drinks. Buffett has to deal with always being thought of as "The Margaritaville Guy," which was made fun of in Broken Lizard's Club Dread as Bill Paxton's character claimed that a "Son of a son of a bitch" stole his hit song, "Pina Colata Town," or some nonsense like that. Anyway, Boat Drinks is the story of a man stuck in a place he desperately wants to leave and goes a little crazy while there. It's a fun song that adds to Buffett's light-hearted image, and it's a song that I think is far better than Margaritaville.
Song of the Post: "Now if I appear to be carefree, / It's only to camouflage my sadness, / And honey to shield my pride I try / To cover this hurt with a show of gladness. / But don't let my show convince you / That I've been happy since you / Decided to go."

Where it all ends, I can't fathom, my friends...

Man, I love Fridays where you don't have to do anything. No class, no work, and a handful of errands that could wait until tomorrow if I'm so inclined. Ah.
Okay, so, I was Stumbling again (it's my new favorite hobby) and found this hilarious website called In Passing.... This woman overhears insanely stupid things and puts them on her blog. Here are a few favorites:

"Mom, I need to go to the bathroom."
"God, sweetie, what have I told you about TMI? I didn't need to know that, and neither did anyone else here."
--A girl who looked to be about 4, and her mother, in line for checkout at Andronico's.

"His phrasing is weird, it's offbeat. He's not pausing at the commas. Hear that? Wait a minute... Dude, he's pausing at the big words."
--A girl watching Bush's press conference on the TV in the lobby of my hotel. (FinalJump's Note: I've actually observed this presidential tendency myself, so I can't blame the girl for saying it)

"So I get home, and she's sitting at the kitchen table with a notebook, counting all the carrot sticks."
"Again?"
--Two women talking outside Pegasus books

"Good call on the reservations. Makes it look like there was advance planning."
"There was. We made reservations."
"You know..."
--Two women arguing in the bathroom at P.F. Changs

"It's smoking. What's wrong with it?"
"That's steam. Are you not familiar with things that are hot?"
--A girl and a guy outside the Cheeseboard pizza shop.

(FinalJump's Note: This one's for the dwainker)
"I asked for Guinness and this is obviously Lagunitas. Guinness isn't clear. Guinness isn't golden. How do you get those two confused? Can no one hear me? This is what's wrong with life. This is the way the world ends. Lagunitas for Guinesss, boom."
--A girl at Cafe du Nord, at the Mike Doughty concert

And finally:
"Gina is a dum ho."
"The defense rests, your honor."
--Written on the wall of a construction site near Lexington & 59th.

Ah, stupid people: you make the world go round and make it miserable for the rest of us.
So, I think I might be bipolar, or manic depressive, or whatever the newest term is. I came to this realization when I noticed that I have days that are essentially exactly the same, but some are really good and others are really bad. There are days where I cannot laugh at anything, and days where I'm in an extremely good mood for no reason at all. I mean, just look back through the blog and you see days of total snarkness due to a bad mood, and then there are posts were it's all lighthearted. Sometimes you can see that swing within a post. I don't know, maybe I just want to get in on the "crazy like everybody else" craze. Heh, a crazy craze. Stupid punny language.
So, in the non-structured day that has just passed, I've played a lot of Xbox. Not a 12-hour marathon, but it's been a lot of go in, play Star Wars: Battlefront for a couple of levels, turn the box off, do something else, go back to the living room, lather, rinse, repeat. I beat the game long ago (no, no silly Star Wars pun there) and now just keep playing a couple of battles over and over again. The one that's probably most fun for me is the Battle of Geonosis, from the end of Episode II. I choose to play a Republic pilot and jump in one of the gunships and just blast every fucking droid away. Oh, my God! One time I played it and scored 128 kills and no deaths. Now, considering that the Confederacy only gets 220 troops for the entire battle, that's just awesome. Yes, I know, I'm betraying the Joe Normal score I got on the nerd/geek/dork test, but that game is a blast. I figured that it'd be boring, since it has only about 13 battles that would play through the same way each time, but the battles are pretty fresh each time, which is pretty cool.
So, I joined facebook a couple of weeks ago, but didn't put any information up. At all. So, for about a month, the only info there was my name and where I went to school. A good friend of mine, who was the only person that I told about my signing up, finally sent me a message that told me that I needed to update my info, and that I would only get out of facebook what I put in. Now, considering that I wasn't really expecting/wanting to get anything out of facebook, I thought about just ignoring it. But, for some reason, her message got through to me and I put some info up. Mainly it was the basics: favorite movies, music, and books, and what I did at my job. I listed Rod Stewart as one of my favorite musicians, and then today I got this invite to a facebook group called Rod Stewart Rocks! Now, look, there's no way I'm joining this group. I'll be honest: I'm listening to a Rod Stewart song as I type this paragraph. However, there is no way that I will belong to a group called Rod Stewart Rocks. My brain forbids it, my soul forbids, and my right index finger forbids itself from clicking "confirm invite." It's not an embarrassment issue, it's just the principle of the matter. There are groups for several other musicians on my list, but I have no plan on joining those, either. After getting that e-mail, I started looking at other groups on facebook, just to see what's out there. There's "I went to a public school, bitch," which the title gives the only real character to. There are several devoted to basketball, which is depressing. "Saved by the Bell rocked my world" is equally depressing. Ultimately, I think that facebook is just a method for implying socialization without actually doing it. It's also a vain attempt to try and be cool. For instance, there's a celebrity who went to our school and has a profile on facebook, which has led well over 3000 students here to "become friends" with her. I find it kind of sad, actually. I also decided to search for my high school and see who I knew on there and where they ended up. First, almost no one from my class is on there. Second, there were a few people one there who I've know since they were extremely young, like five to my ten, for instance. Now, some of them have graduated high school and are off to college. God, that made me feel a bit old. The only plus that I've run into involving facebook was that it reminded me about my old friend from the last post. It didn't give me her e-mail or anything like that, it just had a picture that made me go, "Wow, I should send her an e-mail." So, what exactly, my dear last-name-that-no-one-can-ever-pronounce-correctly, can I get out of facebook? That sounds a lot harsher than it should, by the way.
So, since the SotP from last time is currently playing on Winamp, I guess that it's a hint to wrap this post up. The SotP from last time was Peter Gabriel's Solsbury Hill. The song is just frickin' awesome. I've already talked about interpretations, so I'll leave that alone. Last summer (not the one we're currently living in, the summer of '04), I had to leave my college town and go back home to work. I really didn't want to. There was a lot of stuff going on that I knew if I went home would all fall apart. I didn't have a car at the time and my father was going coming to pick me up. I delayed as long as possible. I seriously dreaded going home. One day, Solsbury Hill was playing and I realized how true the lyrics rang with me, with, obviously, the line "'Son,' he said, 'Grab your things, / I've come to take you home.'" hitting me the most. Home was the last place I wanted to go, but, of course, ended up there anyway. It was a pretty worthless summer. And, of course, things fell apart back here, too. I hate always being right.
Yeah, so, there you are. I started this post out quite happy, and now it's a pretty depressing post.
Alright, so, I guess it's time for the Song of the Post: "I know I should be leaving this climate. / I got a verse and can't rhyme it." Wow. I love Songfacts. This song has a funny little story behind it from the artist themselves, their self, themself (I don't know, take your pick. Stupid genderless grammar):
"It was February in Boston, and I was cold and wanted to go home. Rum and tonic was the antifreeze, and the newspaper was full of ads for warmer climates. I was in a place owned by Derek Sandersen, who was a very famous player for the Boston Bruins in the '70s. I came out of the bar and couldn't find a cab except for the one that was running in front of the nearby hotel. There was no driver in it, and I was too cold to care about the consequences. There is an old Navy expression which says, 'Beg forgiveness, not permission.' I hopped in and drove back to my hotel. I did leave the fare on the seat."

As sure as night is dark and day is light...

Well, dwain has pointed out that it's been some time since he read any good news. Now, while "news" is rarely of the good variety, I kind of find myself agreeing with him. After all, it's been raining here for the last three or four days, but it feels like it's been months since we last saw the sun. Today it stopped raining, but it was still this semi-miserable day. So, of course, that puts essentially the entire town into a depressing mood (and also seems to make people forget how to drive). Also, this hurricane puts a damper on people's spirits, regardless of whether it directly affects them or not. The mayor of New Orleans is stating that thousands are dead, which seems to me to be through stupidity in evacuation methods more than anything else. I mean, taking people and stuffing them into a football stadium? Yeah, let's put thousands in a huge bowl and not expect for a frickin' class-5 hurricane to blow a hole in the roof. Makes perfect sense to me. I was stumbling about two weeks ago and found this website and it gave me a laugh at the time. However, when you look at that map, it does make you wonder just a little bit. I mean, God's got more important stuff to do, right? Now, however, the map is just a little morbid. You can shrug it off and point out that several southern states voted for Bush, it's just a coincidence, but there's this little voice in the back of my head that says, "Yeah, but those paths are a little suspicious."
So, anyway, because of dwain's comments, I decided to embark on a quest to find good news. Not funny news, but good, "restoring-faith-in-the-human-spirit" news. Oy. What have I done.
The first thing I came upon was this article. As a guy, this makes me cringe, big time. It also is not rooted in a "good news" sort of way, but I like that someone is standing up and trying to stop a horrible and extremely dangerous tradition. Now, I'm not blind, and I can read between the lines a bit. South Africa is one of the most racist countries in the world, and the inventor of this device is a white woman. I get the feeling that the majority of these, ugh, devices will be distributed to white women to "protect" them from black men. However, rapex could easily be given to black women as well for the same purposes.
So, after some digging and sorting through some non-Katrina related stories, I did find this bit of good news. I might not be around in 10 million years, but it's nice to know that guys might (assuming we don't develop some marvelous method for wiping ourselves out in the meantime).
Now, maybe this seems a little too "good," but there is this site, which covers good news events. It seems a little dated, but they're working on a new site, so their time is split.
This one makes me happy, since I just got off the phone from a two hour conversation.
Finally, there was this story that actually had some of that faith-restoring power. Just that one line, "You don't want to hurt your neighbor," said a lot to me.
So, yeah, the bad overpowers the good in the news. But maybe the day when we report good news as if it were the rarity and not the common is the day that I might just want to check out.
In my psych class this morning, the teacher pointed out how people in New Orleans were looting, but in some cases it was for food and water. The question was whether or not that was really wrong. The story of Jean Valjean comes to mind, the man who stole a loaf of bread to feed his sister and her kids. He didn't steal it for himself, mind you, but did it for others. He gets caught, does his time, and yet Javert dogs him for stealing that loaf for the rest of his life. Valjean was a man who did an act which was legally wrong but morally right. However, the looters in New Orleans aren't looting for that reason. Sure, they're taking care of their families, but they're really screwing over all the other families. Stealing food to feed yours first takes away from the people who might need it more at that moment. Additionally, stealing food and water for the purpose of selling it is even worse.
Alright, now for a little "outside-my-little-corner-of-the-world" stuff. Today in methods, we discussed how isolated Americans generally are. We have a comfort zone and most try to never leave it. Of course, this ends up with Americans believing that they are really the only ones that matter or have certain problems ever happen to them. I heard a lot of people say that Americans were lucky because something like the Boxing Day Tsunami of 2004 had never happened to us. Welcome to the big leagues of disaster, boys and girls. No, it's nowhere near the size, scope, or devastation as what happened "over there," but it's a nice little black eye to remind us that nothing is ever going to happen to just one place. Americans generally don't realize that they need to be part of a global community and stop whining when things don't go their way.
As dwain pointed out, the Iraqi bridge incident is pretty bad, but anyone who cared could see some sort of event coming. But, of course, most Americans don't care, they just notice that the American dead from the Iraqi Mission (It's not a war, not yet a quagmire) is around 1800, and are absolutely appalled by it. Okay, first, look at a different set of numbers. Second, let's compare. American deaths, according to this website are at 1882, overall. Now, in WWII, American dead numbered 405,399. Doing some simple math, WWII lasted 1397 days, meaning that there were 290 deaths, on average, each day. Now, the Iraqi Mission has lasted 896 days and the average is 2.1 deaths per day. Why on Earth do people keep bringing up these "devastating" casualties as reasons why the war is wrong? People point to 2.1 American deaths per day, but they ignore the at least 27.3 Iraqi civilian deaths over the same average 24 hours. Yeah, you know, the Iraqi civilians, the ones who we're giving democracy to, the ones we're there to, um, protect. Nice work, folks.
Who wants to be the last man to die in the Middle East?
I've made jokes riffing off Springsteen about how we can put a rifle in somebody's hand, send them off to a foreign land, so they can kill the yello--I mean, Arabian man (By the way, I finally got that acoustic version of Born in the USA. It's actually really, really good. He holds one bit too long--the "he's all gone" line--but it's amazingly good otherwise). However, I also realize that this war is nothing but trouble, and the problem is how to get out. I look at it and know that we can't just pack up and leave in the middle of the night. That would render undoubtedly more than 30,000 lives lost meaningless. Yet how many more lives does it cost to make it worth it, and, really, what makes it worth it? Giving a people a republic government is just going to end up with some dictator in power that people all over the world will hate. I think America proved that one true all on its own. In fact, America has never been a really good team player in the global community, but we just haven't learned how to butt out yet. Okay, maybe we can ensure safety for America, and maybe the world, from "terrorists." Well, maybe not. Um, cheaper fuel prices? Ha! I laugh at your gullibility. First, duh. Second, do you really think that the best way to spend billions and billions of dollars was on a method to keep us addicted to a non-renewable energy? And third, duh. I mean, come on. I'll take any guess you've got. But, I swear to God, if your guess includes the term "Axis of Evil," I will hunt you down. You buy into that soundbyte and you are just too Republican for your own good.
Okay, enough ranting about the world.
I recently got in touch with an old friend. She and I have technically known each other since before birth, as our mothers knew each other in lamaze class. We were pretty good friends though high school, with the only real difference between us being that she was a firm vegan and, as anyone who has eaten a meal around me knows, I am firmly not anywhere near a vegan. We kind of lost touch after the first year of college, despite the fact that she was at a university less than two miles away from mine. Anyway, the other day, I was looking up fellow alums from my high school on facebook to see where they had ended up and found my friend's entry. After a little mulling, I dropped her an e-mail to find out what she was up to, having just finished up an anthropology degree. She responded promptly that she had just moved to Michigan to go to MSU's law school. She thought it was an interesting coincidence that I e-mailed her that day because, in her first class, she sat next to a guy who (at least she claims) is my twin, which made her feel a lot more comfortable there. I guess that's nice, since she has that trademark southern twang to her voice, which she said makes her stand out in Michigan. I guess if you move that far away, you embrace that which looks familiar, which I guess implies something about our friendship, given that she hasn't seen me in four years. I'm not entirely sure why I'm putting this up. Oh, well.
Alright, so, I guess I should do some SotP catch-up. The last, formal SotP was Phil Collins' Something Happened on the Way to Heaven, is a seriously upbeat song that deals with lost love. Yeah, bit of an oxymoron there. The song is pretty straight-forward, about a guy who had love but let something stop him from fully embracing it, the something that happened on the way to heaven. Basically, if you've seen Chasing Amy and know the general jist of Silent Bob's speech, you can understand the song.
The last post I made was of the lyrics for Born in the USA by The Boss, sans the chorus. I guess that the only problem that Springsteen encounters is that he's essentially a pop artist, meaning that his songs generally sound upbeat. Both of his "Born" songs, USA and to Run, are kind of sad songs, but have this poppy music that cover that up. In recent years, he's really stepped away from that, making his songs more vocally and lyrically driven, giving them significantly more weight. Of course, from what I understand, his album sales have taken a hit because of it, but, after all, this isn't 1984, kids aren't going to buy Springsteen, no matter how he sounds.
Song of the Post: First, some background on this SotP. There's this great website called Songfacts, where users can contribute what trivia about songs and what they think it means. This song was inspired by a Bruce Springsteen concert, coincidentally. It's done in 7/4 time, and the singer's ex-wife supposedly attempted suicide while playing this song. While most people debated whether the song deals with religion or not, the one interpretation that I liked most, though don't believe at all, is that the song is about a sniper about to kill someone. Heh.
"Today, I don't need a replacement, / I tell her what the smile on my fact meant."